Dawn Walton, MSc.Psych,DipCHyp,MNLP,MBPsS

Email Dawn@thinkitchangeit.com or phone UK 07734113830

The No Blame approach to anxious kids

About a third of the clients I see these days are between 8 and 16 years old. There is an increase in the levels of anxiety being experienced by those under 16, and yet there are very few resources to help. As the adults responsible for these children, you have probably become experts on anxiety and the triggers for your child.

Many of the parents I see feel helpless because they try so much, but it rarely makes a permanent difference.

As a result, I am developing some training that parents and kids can do to help deal with anxiety.  The "No Blame" approach to parenting anxious kids will use your skills and your expertise, combined with my knowledge and expertise, to help your child get over their anxiety once and for all.

Anxiety is a big word. There are an almost infinite number of things that can lead you to feeling anxious.Anxiety, as a word, or a label, tells you nothing about the why.From my experience as a therapist, I have found that there are 3 common paths that lead to a child feeling anxious (or an adult)

1. Fear of what others think. This can include feeling you are different, feeling not good enough, bullying. It can be specific to a setting, e.g school, or specific to any situation where you think you might be in the spotlight

2. Worrying about the future. This often manifests as a fear of you or someone around you getting hurt. It can also come through as separation anxiety. It's rooted in a belief that you can't trust yourself to be ok. Things like stories of the Coronavirus, planes crashing, climate change etc can make this very bad. It's a form of OCD as it's all about control

3. Fear of being sick is sometimes called Emetaphobia, SED (Selective eating disorder) or ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food intake disorder) and involves behaviour where only certain foods are 'safe' to eat. Those with this tend to be very sensitive to food textures and often carry a strong fear of being around someone who is sick, including themselves.

A simple anxiety trick

Squeeze the middle two fingers of your hand* 

These two fingers are on the same nerve. It is a nerve that sends a calming signal to the brain.It can be enough to take the edge of the emotional aspect of anxiety and re-engage the brain.

*It doesn't matter which hand.

*You can squeeze your child's hand or they can do it themselves. 

 *If you squeeze so hard it hurts, it will cancel out the effect!