Tag Archives: perception

Different realities

Some people can’t see certain colours. Some people can’t see reds and greens. It’s hard to understand what they see, when we can see them fine. But we accept that some people see colours differently.

The thing a lot of people don’t realise is that it’s not the eyes that see. It’s the brain. We all see things based on our own reality. We all see things differently.

So why is it so hard to accept that we might see other things differently? Why is it so hard to accept that the way we see ourselves may not be the same as others see us?

You don’t know what you don’t know. Until you see things in a different way, no amount of explanation from anyone else will shift your perception. A person who is colour blind will not realise that they see things differently until someone points it out to them. Even then, they still won’t truly understand until something helps them see differently. A person who is experiencing depression will not be able to hear what other people tell them. They are living in a restricted reality in their own head.

This video of a baby getting glasses for the first time is a great example. She doesn’t know that there is anything wrong with her eyesight,  until she sees the world for the first time through glasses.

Baby sees with glasses for the first time

When people leave their first session with me, they mostly look bemused. They know themselves pretty well, and have no reason to believe an hour spent talking to me will change a thing. But as they go through the weeks after that session, they begin to see things differently. Their reality begins to shift. The more evidence they gather of how things can be different, the more it brings into question everything they thought was true about themselves.

It can be both unnerving and exciting.

In time, they stop accepting their emotional state as a black and white truth. They begin to realise that it is a temporary reality that can be changed. Until they do, I am there. I remain the objective observer, finding the right glasses to allow them to see the world as it is, rather than a filtered version based on past experiences.

It’s a wonderful journey and I am honoured to be part of it with so many people.

Perception Ezine

imageAs a Quest trained Cognitive Hypnotherapist I am lucky enough to be part of a network. A network that shares knowledge and experience to make us all better for our clients.

This network produces a newsletter every few months with really useful articles and features from other Questies (Quest trained Congitive Hypnotherapists).

Sometimes I contribute, sometimes I don’t.


There is always a useful video from the founder of Cognitive Hypnotherapy, Trevor Silvester. Here is the latest on fear of failure

Here is a preview of the contents of the latest newsletter


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We see through tainted eyes

A gossip was complaining about a neighbour to a visiting friend. Her neighbour was so dirty, it was a disgrace to the neighbourhood. “Just look, those clothes she has on the line and sheets and pillowcases all have black streaks up and down them”. Her guest said “It appears, my dear, that the clothes are clean; the streaks you see are on your…windows”

You see the thing is, we can’t help but see everything that happens around us from our own perspective. Our experiences, our perceptions, our thoughts…all taint the way we see everything.

Nothing is real.

It is all an embellished version of things based on who we are, what we believe, what we have experienced. This applies equally to our own memories as it does to what we see around us.

We all live in our own reality.

This is significant.

I believe when we have an opportunity to interact with someone then it is important to remember that their reality is different from ours. So if we are going to intrude on it then it should only be in a way that blends into it…not a way that causes discord in it.

There is always a risk, because we don’t understand another person’s reality, that we will leave the wrong sort of mark if we try to impose our reality onto theirs.

I believe I should only enter someone else’s reality if invited. It is not my place to judge their actions and behaviours unless they are forcing them into my reality.

I believe if I am invited then I should work with their reality. And I always try and leave a positive mark. If I can’t then I will step away having made no impact if that is at all possible.