“I over think everything”
“I wish I could stop over analysing. My mind is constantly racing”
These are things I commonly hear from my clients in the first session.
They believe that we can stop those thoughts.
There is nothing wrong with over thinking. In fact, try and think of nothing.
Go on…think of nothing…
You are thinking of the word “nothing” the number zero or an empty space. And I guarantee that empty space has a colour because you can’t think of a nothing colour!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking, analysing etc.
The problem is believing your thoughts and letting them stay in your head.
Thoughts are like a fast moving river. You can’t stop them. You can’t contain them. You can just smoothly direct them onward.
Your thoughts are lying to you. They are not real. They are an illusion created by your brain. And most of that illusion is caused by your subconscious. Your subconscious is in charge at least 90% of the time, so most of the thoughts you have are primitive and irrational. But they hide amongst your rational thoughts. I call them ninja thoughts because they sneak in and pretend they are real.
Imagine this scenario:
You are at work and someone gives you a weird look. You stop and wonder what it is about. You decide that they are not happy with you because you haven’t done that thing they asked for yet. And that’s really out of order of them, because you’ve had loads of stuff to do and you’ll get round to their thing as soon as you have a second. How dare they be offish with you! They have no idea what you are having to deal with. You glare back at them, projecting your anger straight back at them.
Now, we know we can’t read minds. So the weird look was probably because they were thinking about what to do for dinner later, or going over a conversation they’d just had with someone else.
You believe the first thought: they are not happy with you.
Imagine if you could recognise that it was just a thought and it wasn’t true. You wouldn’t go off on this whole story. You wouldn’t react to the thought. You’d observe it and let it go.
The problem is not having thoughts, it’s believing them.