Tag Archives: I’m a celebrity

Why people get away with being bullies

Lady C calls Duncan Bannatyne a 'vain old goat' and Brian Friedman 'full of sh*t'

She was an endearing old lady that everyone protected when she first entered the jungle as part of the TV show “I’m a Celebrity, Get me out of here”. They found her amusing and quirky. From the outset she clearly marched to the beat of her own drum but, initially, everyone pandered to it. She was older. She was a lady. Lady Colin Campbell was typical of unknowns that end up on the programme.

Before anyone realised what was happening, looking after her turned in to being emotionally manipulated. Up to a point it seemed reasonable to protect an older person who didn’t seem to share the same life experience of everyone else due to her privileged lifestyle.

Then she refused a trial because it triggered issues for her. Seemed reasonable, and yet it resulted in all 12 people going without dinner. And the programme usually makes people exempt from trials if there are medical reasons why they can’t do it.

Again, it seemed unfair but understandable.

And then she won a trial that resulted in her and two fellow campmates going to a bush spa for the night. They got to choose 2 people to wait on them as a chambermaid and servant. She chose Tony and Georgie but Tony refused. He didn’t want to wait on her. Also reasonable.

But Lady C was not used to being refused and her true colours came out. Gone was the subtle manipulation and out came the bullying nastiness. Once the aggressive and abusive behaviour had begun, it didn’t stop. All because someone didn’t do what she wanted. It was targeted at Tony Hadley who dared to refuse her and then Duncan Banatyne who stood up to her along with Tony.

“I don’t need any input from you. You are a hypocritical pretentious a******e. I’ve had enough of you. It’s none of your f*****g business, a******e.”

“You’re a chippy oik with a mouth of diarrhoea. My opinion of you is that you are the lowest of the low, a bore. Let me tell you something, boy, you are of no significance to me. You’re so used to creeps and dollybirds, tarts. You don’t even have a good voice. I don’t want to speak to you,”

‘Not only do you have verbal diarrhoea, you are so full of sh*t that if you ever took an enema you would disappear off the face of the earth without trace.’

‘Be careful who you take on dear baby boy, some people actually have sharper tongues than you, self-important little runt. Desperate for attention and can’t get any.’

“That’s part of the problem, you are desperate for the limelight you vain old goat.’

If it was a male in the camp saying these things and acting in this way, it would not be tolerated. They would be removed quickly. And yet because it’s a woman nothing was done. She continued to bully everyone except a couple of close friends. Even they couldn’t accept her behaviour but by then everyone was too scared to stand up to her.

And this is how it goes with bullies isn’t it? They seem so reasonable at first. They fool those around them. People make excuses for them. We start to question ourselves.

We all live in our own unique reality bubble. When someone lives in such a warped reality, anyone who lives in close proximity to them soon gets drawn in. And once you are in someone else’s reality you lose sight of the fact that a different one exists. This is why people in domestic abuse situations can’t leave – they can only see the world from the perspective of their abuser.

She has now left the jungle on medical grounds and I can go back to enjoying watching a genuinely interesting group of people.

I don’t find it disturbing that people like Lady C exist – we are all different. What I do find disturbing is how easily we all accept that behaviour.

I can help you see a different reality. If you think you are in a controlled situation either with emotional abuse or physical and sexual abuse, think about who you are. Have you always been the way you are now? Or was there a time where you wouldn’t have accepted this? What would you tell a friend? What do your friends say to you?

If you need help, get in touch dawn@thinkitchangeit.com

Beauty is what you see in the mirror

I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here

Last night I was watching one of my guilty pleasure programmes “I’m a celebrity get me out of here”

This year Rebecca Adlington, the very successful Olympic swimmer, is in the jungle and so is a lady who may be less well known called Amy Willerton who is GB’s Miss Universe.

A discussion started about body image and what effect pageants have on how girls see themselves and how they should look. It was a relatively good natured discussion between Amy and an actress who stars in Emmerdale called Lucy Pargeter. Lucy was sharing how she didn’t even feel comfortable getting naked to get into the shower and how she has always struggled with body image. A few others joined in.

Rebecca made a few comments and then went off to talk to the camera at which point she started talking about how anxious and bad she feels about the way she looks. How little confidence she has in herself. How she wished she had the beauty of someone like Amy.

This wasn’t a result of any comment made by Amy but was about the way Rebecca sees herself.

And the things is, I was probably one of tens of thousands of people who were yelling at the telly trying to somehow get through to Rebecca how amazing she was. She is a true role model with all her achievements. Something to inspire any of us to chase our dreams.

As I sat there I thought it was such a shame that she wasn’t in a place where she could accept that because these other things are perceived as being so much more important.

It’s something I commonly deal with in my clients, especially weight loss clients.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you measure a person by the way they look?
  • Do you choose your friends based on their size or hair colour?
  • Do you think if you had one friend who is a size 16 and one who is a 10 you’d like the size 10 friend more?

I suspect the answer to all these questions is a very emphatic “No!”

So then why on earth would you think that other people would be any different?

What we see when we look in the mirror is not what is there but is an image filtered through our own perceptions.

Small or large, Olympic swimmer or couch potato, we all see a different person based on how we think or feel.

And as I watched Rebecca become consumed by her own reality I just wanted to reach out and help her in the way I know I can. In the way I have helped so many of my clients be ok with themselves…accept themselves…and accept their achievements in life.

I would love to help Rebecca accept her amazing achievements and move on.

If you want a special download which may help you get a bit more confidence in who you are just click on this link and listen every day.

** it will take you to the MailBigFile website to fetch your download. If you download to a PC/Mac first you can put the MP3 on any device to listen to. If you just click on it, it will play but not download and will require an internet connection every time you want to play it (and use your data!)