Tag Archives: cognitivehypnotherapy

Stress

Glas

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

Credit: www.rawforbeauty.com

Are gastric bands cruel?

Food. The only addiction you can’t get over by abstaining. 

230px-adjustable_gastric_band

A gastric band (surgery or hypnosis based) is a technique that physically reduces the size of the stomach so you can’t physically eat as much. 

As a result of eating less, you lose weight. 

Very simple. Sounds like an easy solution doesn’t it? Take away the need for willpower and have the decision made for you by a physical driver. 

But whilst the physical has changed, nothing has changed in your mind. 

You still want to eat, you just physically can’t.

And that can lead to the stories you hear about people liquidising Mars bars. Or where you see someone who lost a massive amount of weight after a gastric band but eventually put it back on. 

A Gastric band, whether physical or hypnotic, turns the food into the enemy and the body into a battle ground. 

It can work really well. I can see why it’s a really appealing option. 

In my opinion it’s quite cruel though. 

Wouldn’t it be more effective to work with the head first? To change your thinking so you didn’t want to eat as much? To break the connection with food so that it doesn’t mean anything on an emotional level. To reframe it in your head so that food is nothing more than fuel and you can choose to eat as much or as little as you need to live healthily.

Wouldn’t it be great to break the connection with food so that each mouthful you took became ok instead of another reason to feel guilty?

It is possible. You just have to start with the mind instead of starting with the physical. 

…and you can imagine how wonderful it feels when you first put your fork down when food is left on the plate because you know you are full and don’t want to eat any more. 

…and how good it is for you when you find that you are choosing to eat a piece of fruit instead of a piece of chocolate. 

…and how many other things you can do with your life if your primary driver was no longer what you can’t eat but more about what you want to eat. 

Any Cognitive Hypnotherapist can help you achieve this, something that probably sounds pretty hard to beleive to many of you reading this. I can help you achieve this. Just email dawn@thinkitchangeit.com or check out my website

Who wants to be a millionaire

I play the National Lottery.

I don’t expect to win but I play it so that I can have the conversations “What would I do if I won…”.

Have you ever done that?

When you’ve gone through paying off debts, a house, a holiday etc do you carry on?

Have you ever thought what you would do day in day out for the next 20 years of your life when you won the lottery?

If money was not a concern but all other constraints that we live by still existed what would you be doing in your daily life?

That’s what I love to dream about. Because I know my plans for my future would be no different than they are right now – they would just be accelerated. I would be a full time Cognitive Hypnotherapist sooner rather than later. 

So take a moment to dream

  1. If you won enough on the lottery to give up work what do you want to be doing in 10 years time.
  2. Imagine your day from first thing in the morning to last thing at night.Where are you? who is around you? what are you doing?
  3. Now work back, what would you have to do to get there?
  4. Keep working back. Work out each thing that you would need to do to make that day in 10 years happen.
  5. Now work out why you can’t start taking action to that point now. Why can’t you start doing things right now that will get you to where you want to be in 10 years time. 

You might find that the thing that’s limiting you living your dream is not money at all, it’s just that you have never thought about it in a way where it was a real possibility.

 

My Mad Fat Diary

There is a new series that has just started on E4 called “My Mad Fat Diary”

The write up on the channel 4 website says

My Mad Fat Diary takes a look at life from the perspective of funny, music-mad 16-year-old Rae. 

At the start we see the main character, Rae, leaving a psychiactric ward where she has been for a few months. Throughout the episodes we see her having sessions with her counsellor. 

It is a very well written series that is both laugh out loud funny, and hard hitting in the way it deals with mental health issues such as eating disorders. Apparently it is based on the diary of the writer Rae Earl. Maybe that’s what makes it so real. 

Last night’s episode, the second in the series, didn’t disappoint.

It dealt with body dysmorphia, bullemia, self harm, teenage sexuality and much more. 

At the same time as feeling like I really wanted to help so many of the characters, I found myself laughing out loud often. 

Many of the experiences of the main character fire off triggers and memories. It’s not a feel good programme and yet it’s entertaining and refreshing. 

I found myself thinking as I watched it about the things that resonated with me. 

I found myself relating to so many of her feelings. 

I found myself just wanting to give her a hug.

I also wondered what I could do to help if she was to come to my therapy room. It would be an opporunity I would relish. After all, I trained as a Cognitivie Hypnotherapist to help people. I want to help people because I know what it feels like to hurt and I want to help as many people as I can get over that. 

That’s why I wrote my book, because although my past is different to Rae’s (we all have a unqiue past because we all experience things in our own way) I want to let as many people as possible know that you can overcome anything. You can find happiness.

(Click here to buy the book)

Dawn_walton_book_cover

 

 

 

 

“How do you like them apples?”

“Where are they going mummy?”

“I don’t know, I’m not them”

“What are they doing mummy?”

“I don’t know, I’m not them”

She doesn’t understand that we don’t know all these people. She doesn’t understand that I don’t know what everyone is thinking. 

Her concept of the size of the world is still too small to realise that you can never know what other people are thinking. You can never know what something means to someone else. You can only ever know what it means to you. 

Experience isn’t relative. 

When I eat an apple it tastes different to me than it does to everyone else. Just because I like apples, doesn’t mean I can assume that everyone else does. I might be able to describe to you why I like apples. I might be able to get you to describe to me why you don’t like them. I might even be able to suggest a way of preparing apples that would mean you could eat them. 

But I can never truly know what an apple tastes like to you. 

Remember that if you are talking to someone and find yourself judging them for their choices, experiences or opinions. 

You can never truly know. 

Life – I’m taking you on

In the morning when I go for a run I put a mix on my ipod and just jog along enjoying the fresh air and the space to think.

I have my music on shuffle so I never know what will come up. 

The other day, as I headed out for a run after Christmas this song came on my iPod

I love the words to this song. 

And as I mused the other day, the timing of this song was perfect because this year I have not made resolutions, I have decided instead to focus on the moment. 

Instead of achieving anything specific I am going to focus instead on what I already have. 

As I listened to the words of the song, another video that a friend on Twitter shared with me came to mind. Over Christmas I got a Nike Fuelband. It tracks all motion in the day and turns it into Nike Fuel points. There was one line that stood out to me from this video

The line that summarises what I am trying to achieve this year comes from Abraham Lincoln (or maybe somebody else!)

It’s Not the Years in Your Life That Count. It’s the Life in Your Years

So that is my mantra for the year. And as I listened to the Christina Aguilera song and jogged along I realised that when she refers to “you” in the song I take that as “life”. 

I have chosen to take what has happened in my life and use it to make me stronger.

So this year I have stopped running.

This year I am stopping, standing still, having a good look around and resolving to enjoy every moment to the best of my ability. 

What does it mean?

No doubt a number of you have New Year’s Resolutions. 

No doubt a number of you will break your New Year’s Resolutions through the year at some point. 

Have you ever wondered why they are so hard to stick to? 

Have you ever questioned what it will mean if you achieve them. 

So ask yourself these questions

  1. What will you gain if you achieve X resolution? 
  2. What will you lose if you achieve X resolution?
  3. What will you not gain if you achieve X resolution?
  4. What will you not lose if you achieve X resolution?

Let me give you an example

“I want to lose weight this year”

1. I will gain self confidence. I will be able to wear clothes I like rather than ones that fit

2. I will lose the protection of my weight as an excuse for why I don’t like myself. 

3. I will not gain a sense of self worth. I will not gain a new job or a new life. I might not gain happiness. 

4. I will not lose my friends and family. I will not lose the stresses and strains of daily life. 

So look at what you are resolving to achieve this year and test it out with these 4 questions. It’s not too late to revise, replace or even scrap any resolutions that aren’t really going to help you achieve your true goals in life. 

It can mean whatever you want it to

There can be a lot of pressure on people as we approach the New Year. 

You start to reflect on achievements of the year gone by and make plans for the year ahead. 

This is where it can get tricky.

But it doesn’t have to.

It’s just another day. You can choose to make it mean whatever you want.

And ask yourself, who says you should have achieved X? Who set that particular goal?

Whether New Year is a big deal or not, why not try a different approach this year.

1. Write down everything you did in 2012 that you enjoyed doing

2. Write down everything you did in 2012 that you didn’t enjoy

Now

  • Pick one thing from the list in number 1 that you will do more of.
  • Pick one thing from the list in number 2 that you will do less of

That’s it. 2013 New Years resolutions have now been written

It’s very simple just do more of what you love and less of what you don’t

 

 

Memories of the Grinch

Grinch

This Christmas I watched the Grinch on TV again. 

It’s a good little film. At one point he says “Time to get rid of those horrible memories” (or something like that!) and whacks himself on the head with a mallet knocking himself out!

 

And I’m sure you’re all familiar with those memories that seem to pop up and poke us in the eye painfully. It’s probably a bit extreme to knock yourself out with a hammer but some people do take such extreme measures to escape from painful memories. 

Some try and escape using alcohol, drugs or something else. 

Some try to punish themselves with self harm or by putting themselves in situations/relationships that they know are bad for them.  

People find many ways to escape from painful memories. 

I can provide a less destructive way. 

I can help reprogramme memories – not so you forget them – but so that the emotional pain goes away. You see, no matter how much you think you want to lose the memory or memories, they are part of who you are. It is way more effective to neutralise the emotional attachment but leave the event intact. 

I’m all too familiar with being crippled by horrible memories and trying to escape. But I don’t have to worry about that any more. I’ve had help and so can you. 

Check out my site and/or drop me an email to dawn@thinkitchangeit.com to see how I can help you. 

Why not make 2013 the year where you reclaim “you” and live your life in happiness?

 

The end of the world indeed

Mayan

Everyone is talking about the end of the world. But we know already it’s not going to happen because New Zealand and Australia are still around.

Ah well. We’ll have to carry on getting ready for Christmas. Carry on eating yummy food. Carry on wrapping presents. 

And that’s not such a bad thing.

Christmas is often a chance for reflection as we had towards a new year. Because of this there are some of us that kind find it a very difficult time of year. 

I’m no expert but my understanding of the “end of the world” prediction in the Mayan calendar is that it’s actually a prediction of the end of the world as we know it. 

This means that the world will still be around. We will still have Christmas.

But we’re entering a new era and it’s supposed to be a pretty good one too!

The last few years have been chaotic. It’s been hard to keep positive amongst so much doom and gloom – economic troubles and violence seem to be a daily news story. 

And now the Mayans have given us a perfect excuse to put all of that behind us – to begin a new chapter in our lives of growth and change. 

If you could choose to have the best year of your life in 2013 what would it look like? What can you do differently to choose a better year than you’ve ever had?

Personally, I got a bit ahead of the game. I can’t imagine a year better than 2012 for me

 

This year, in the year I turned 40, I ran the London Marathon, I had a book published, I qualified as a Cognitive Hypnotherapist and converted my garage to a therapy room where I have now started seeing clients – all at the same time as doing a full time job and bringing up my daughter who turned 4 this year 

Oh and I found happiness, not just in my life but also in being myself. 

So anything is possible. If you can believe that, what can you achieve?

If you need help with creating the best year yet in 2013 why not drop me a mail to dawn@thinkitchangeit.com and we’ll see what we can do. Or have a browse of my site and see how Cognitive Hypnotherapy can help you.