Tag Archives: change

The path less travelled

If you walk through a field, then it makes sense to follow the worn path. It’s an easier route to go. 

Unless the worn path goes all round the field. Then it might make more sense to cut a new path straight through the middle. 

At first that new path will be hard going, but pretty soon it will get easier. 

When others notice the new path, they will probably use it too. More footfall means it gets worn down quicker. 

As the other path gets less used, it will grow over until eventually it will not exist at all. 

This is like your brain as you change. 

Each time you do something new you create a new path – a neural pathway. 

Each time you travel that neural pathway by doing the new thing you reinforce it. 

Old pathways disappear as you stop using them. 

Seeking that new pathway and thinking about that new pathway makes it stronger quicker. 

Pretty soon the old way of thinking and behaving is a long forgotten path. 

This is Neuroplasticity. This is what every client I work with goes through. Permanent changes in the brain. 

Expectations and perfection

Over the past few weeks I have been struggling with my perceptions of myself. I have struggled not to return some of my old thinking patterns around being unlikeable and unlovable.

It has led me to a lesson about the expectations of ourselves that I would like to share with you.

So first, an exercise and I need you to be really really honest with yourself please:

1. Get a pen and paper and write a list of all the expectations you have of yourself.

Done it? Got everything? Are you sure you’ve been honest?

2. Work out the person you care most about. If possible they should be an adult and not a child but if all else fails use a child. Write a list of all your expectations of them.

3. Compare the lists. Which is longer? I suspect your expectations of yourself.

So think about it.

If your expectations of others are so much less than those of yourself, what do you think their expectations of you are – the long or the short list?

I’m sure the short list.

So where are all these expectations coming from? Are you really expecting to be perfect? Do you really need them all.

What would happen if you dropped enough items off the list to have it as short as the other one – what would your life be like then?


Motivation

The more you do, the more you do

Motivation is a habit. 

You don’t suddenly wake up one day and find you are motivated. 

Somehow, the less you do, the less you want to do. There’s a saying isn’t there, that if you want something doing, give it to a busy man. 

Sometimes we can spend a lot of time wishing we had more time to do stuff. And yet somehow, if we ever find ourselves with the luxury of having time, we don’t seem to get round to that stuff. 

Personally, I can only get anything done if there is a real deadline (making one up for myself never works!). 

I can also get stuff done if I make it a habit. 

Every morning I get up and get dressed in my running gear. I don’t make it a choice. I make it a habit. Once dressed correctly, it’s inevitable that the next step I need to take is to run. After all, it would be crazy to sit there in my running gear and not run. 

Some people think I am very motivated. I’m not sure I agree. I just have lots of habits!

So if you want to get motivation, don’t spend time beating yourself up for what you haven’t done or what you should do. Note how many times the voice in your head says “should” or you say it in conversation with others. 

Give up on what you should do. 

Just start a habit. 

Just start doing something every day no matter what. 

And you may surprise yourself when you look back at the end of the week and realise how much you’ve achieved. That’s motivation that is. 

If you find you are stuck and need some help to focus and move forward, why not drop me an email to dawn@thinkitchangeit.com to see how I can help. 

It’s hard not to stumble if you’re looking back

When you are walking somewhere you generally look ahead of you don’t you? 

My daughter has a habit of looking back at me, instead of forward, as she walks. As a result she bumps into things, stumbles over things and generally has a difficult time of it. 

Sometimes it helps to glance back, or remember key things e.g. sometimes puddles are deeper than they seem!  Most of the time, however, you have learnt the lessons as you encountered them. Next time you see a puddle you don’t automatically jump into it. You have learnt from your mistakes so you don’t need to repeat them. 

Generally you find if you want to make reasonable and smooth progress somewhere, you should concentrate on looking forward in the direction you are going. Looking backwards serves a limited purpose and can stop you getting where you are going. 

Life is very similar. 

If you need my help in letting go of your past, why not drop me an email dawn@thinkitchangeit.com

One Thing

If you could do one thing right now what would it be?

One thing that you have put off doing?

One thing that initiates change rather than waiting for something to happen?

One thing to get you something you want?

One thing that scares you?

One thing…

…do it now. 

 

If I can help you with anything, drop and email to Dawn@thinkitchangeit.com and let me know.