Looking in the wrong place

Sometimes we can spend so much time looking for one thing to change, that we fail to notice all the other things that are changing.

At this time of year, people of set out New Year’s Resolutions. These tend to be about doing less of something (eating chocolate, drinking, smoking) or doing more of something (exercise, making healthy choices). But to what end? What difference will losing weight make? What difference will making healthier choices make? Will you magically stop caring what people think if you lose a little weight? Will you be happy when you make healthy choices?

How much effort will it take to maintain these changes for the rest of your life?

What would happen if you put on an invisibility cloak right now. A cloak that didn’t stop you existing, but stopped people being able to interact with you based on how you look?

We can spend most of our lives looking in the wrong place for change. If you diet, you look to the scales, or your clothes – but that’s the wrong place. That doesn’t affect inside your head.

When clients come to see me, they are stuck. They don’t want to be where they are. But they often don’t know where they want to be. When they leave that first session the are in a bit of a daze. They don’t know what to expect. They don’t think that our work will make much of a difference.

My job is get them to look in the right place for changes. I tell them to be curious and to log every difference no matter how small. It’s the small changes, that seem insignificant at first, that lead to permanent long term change.

So which part of the sky are you looking at right now? Make sure that in your new years resolutions, that you are looking all round. Look in the right place for those changes and you might surprise yourself.

Now is a good time to write down every small positive in your day, no matter how good or bad your day has been. Stick it in a jar each day. Next New Year, open the jar and read through everything you have achieved.


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