There are many different types of sexual abuse. There is no one type that is worse than the other though. You see, the problem with abuse is not what actually happens, but the meaning you take from what happens.
It’s the meaning behind it that causes the pain in later life, that triggers you in some way. Things like:
- I should have told someone
- I should have fought back
- I should have been able to not respond
- It was about me not them
Or if you reported the abuse to someone
- They don’t love me because they didn’t do anything when I told them
- It must be me that was in the wrong because the person I told didn’t act in the way I hoped/expected
A lot of this pain comes from comparing what you now know, as an adult, with the way you thought as a child. We often project adult thoughts onto our child selves. But you see, you don’t think now like you thought then. You don’t think now, like you thought last year.
We are always the best version of us that we can possibly be, under the circumstances.
As a result of this pain, those who have been abused often have a number of issues, that are symptomatic of having these memories in their head. One or more of the following may be familiar:
- hatred of body leading to self harm and/or weight issues
- anxiety – hyper vigilance in every social situation
- fake persona – living a false life, pretending to be a person you are not to hide the person you feel you really are.
- depression – a belief that you deserve all the bad things that happen to you in life.
- Lack of trust in your own feelings/body leading to promiscuity or full withdrawal from physical contact.
Over the years I have worked with many clients who have experienced abuse. Sometimes, that is the problem they bring to me. More often, the problem they reach out for is symptomatic of experiencing abuse as a child. The “system (NHS or otherwise) struggles to treat someone who has been abused because they can present with such a range of different problems. The system first likes to put people in a category and then they treat all people in that category the same. I have had clients come to me with every label under the sun – and what it really meant was they were hurting and doing their best to survive. This can make treatment lengthy and with limited effect, because when you treat one symptom in one category, the other one remains.
I can help you move on from sexual abuse and live a happy, fulfilling life
I don’t need labels. And I don’t need to take years. Within 2-3 sessions you can be a very different person – the person you were always meant to be before someone forced you into hiding during childhood.
I don’t say this because I know what you are going through. Yes, I experienced sexual abuse, but that’s not relevant to our work. What is relevant is that I have healed from being abused and I am happy in my life. What is relevant is that I have used what I learnt from my own journey to help others, and seen the most amazing transformations. I wasn’t ready before to declare myself a specialist in this area. I wasn’t far enough in my own journey and I hadn’t seen enough people transform. But I am comfortable now, with everything that happened to me. The meaning has gone. The pain has gone. And I have helped so many people, that I just want to help more. I love seeing my clients flourish and live the lives they want to live.
I know it’s hard. It’s hard when you hate yourself to do anything for yourself. But you’re here and you’re reading this so there is a part of you that is still fighting. Maybe this year is the right time for that part to reach out to me, and let me help you. I would be honoured if you would let me.
Remember, I do sessions on Skype, Facetime and in Dundee and Aberdeen. There is no reason not to reach out. Maybe, just maybe, I can help.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org to begin our journey together.