Change is hard to see

When I used to work in a call centre consultancy, we had a rule that in order to say “I did X and it led to improvement”, you had to have 3 consecutive points where the data showed improvement. These points could be represent weeks or months, but they had to be over time, and a trend.

The easiest thing about the therapy journey with me is the work we do in the room together.

The hardest thing is the bit in between the sessions where you have to look for evidence of change.

Most people have an idea of where they want to be.

Most people don’t look at their life as a trend, it is more about absolutes. You compare now to the person you want to be, losing sight easily of how far you’ve come from the person you used to be.

The problem is, everything you know about yourself comes from your past experience. That is your evidence. It is rock solid. It tells you “When this happens, I react this way”

When you leave the first session with me, you know something has shifted but you don’t know what. I task you with finding evidence of things that are different. That evidence will form a trend over time.

The biggest challenge happens in the first few weeks, while your brain updates. The data points that act as evidence of the change are interspersed with evidence of how things have always been.

I may be good but I’m not good enough to change everything overnight!

So the task is to build our data and evidence of change into a trendline. You can then use this trendline to predict where you are heading. Instead of using your past which has produced most of your evidence so far.

This is not easy. Even I still struggle with this. How do I know who I am, if I am not what happened to me?

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