Are you in an abusive relationship with yourself?

“You useless worthless piece of dirt”

“Look at you, the state of you! You are so ugly. No one would ever look at you”

“You are so stupid, why did you do that?!”

“Everyone is looking at you. You are fat and ugly and worthless”

Are you a parent or relative to kids?

If you are, what would you do if someone spoke to a child you know in that way?

How would it make you feel?

How would you respond on their behalf?

Now think about yourself. Have you ever said these things or something like them to yourself?

Why is that ok for you but not, I suspect, ok for others to say it to a child?

Try these steps next time you hear any sort of critical voice in your head

  1. Identify who’s voice it is. Check to see if it is really your voice or if it is someone else’s (maybe the image of someone else comes to mind at the same time)
  2. Change the voice. Speed it up, or slow it down so that it is no longer recognisable. You could even change it to a funny voice like Donald Duck or a chipmunk
  3. Say to yourself, in your own voice “I accept myself. I’m ok”
  4. Keep saying it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t fully believe it. It’s important to focus your mind on positive thoughts (if I say don’t think of a pink elephant what do you think of first)
  5. “I accept myself. I’m ok. I release and let go of judging myself. I don’t judge others so why should I judge myself. I’m ok”

Each time you become aware of a critical voice follow these steps. Eventually, the voice should have less and less hold over you.

It doesn’t matter what other people think of you, it only matters what you think of yourself. Sort that and many other things fall into place.

I like this quote that has been doing the rounds on Facebook

“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” Buddha

If you can stop making everything that people say or do about you, then you can find happiness with just being you. We are all struggling. It’s just that we are often so caught up in our own struggles that we don’t notice that. We can assume everyone else is fine and it’s just us that’s screwed up!

If you need my help to find yourself and to accept yourself, why not browse my site or drop an email to

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