5 lessons from taking my abuser to court

**Trigger warning** This article is about child abuse. Please don’t read if you thing it might trigger you

I picked up the phone and called the NSPCC. “I want to report a case of historical abuse” I said. I was terrified. I had been shaking for days just thinking about making that phonecall.

For years I had wanted to do this. I didn’t even know if he was still alive. What I was almost positive about was that he’d abused others. What I was really worried about was that he still was, and would be in the future.

But up until a few years ago, I couldn’t even tell anyone what had happened, let alone publicly admit it. I always felt guilty for that. When I blogged about my Cognitive Hypnotherapy journey, I never said what had happened. Although most people could read between the lines and guess.

But I’ve come a long way in the last few years.

I was ready.

In May 2015 I travelled to North Wales for a trial that I was told would last 2-3 days. It spanned 4 days in the end. It was the culmination of 2 years of hell as the police gathered evidence, submitted through the CPS, got court dates and moved things forward.

He was found Not Guilty.

No one expected that. He even turned up in court, on the day of the verdict, with a large suitcase.

I had failed in everything I set out to achieve. It was not high enough profile to get publicity. Nobody except him knew what went on in court. He is free to continue whatever he wants to do, unchecked and un-monitored.

It was a horrendous process, but I changed a lot because of it – often, believe it or not, in a good way. I would like to share with you 5 key lessons I learnt from taking him to court.

1. It takes a lot for an abuse case to get to court.

Most of the 2 years was spent waiting.

Waiting to find out if they would progress with the case.

Did they have enough evidence? How could they possibly take someone to court on my word alone?

I initially gave a verbal interview where the police officer took notes. It was then passed to a specialist unit and they said I could have done a video interview that would be played in court so I wouldn’t have to read out my statement. A way better option it seemed! So I travelled to Wales and spent 3 hours re-living every painful detail while being questioned, on video.  It was horrendous, but possible, thanks to all my help from Cognitive Hypnotherapist, Trevor Silvester.

I thought that was going to be the worst part, but I didn’t realise that I would have to watch the video, in court, with the jury and judge watching the video and me. One of the worst experiences of my life!

I did a written statement interview, a video interview and answered a number of follow up questions.

I did it alone. My mother’s friend, who I originally told about the abuse, refused to give the police any statement.

My mother, who knew all about it but had never believed me, did not corroborate my story.

And yet, the CPS accepted it as a case based on my evidence. The CPS prosecuting barrister reckoned it was a very solid case with over 90% certainty of a guilty verdict.

It took 2 years to get to court and had to go through many checks to make sure there was enough to work on.

So now, when I watch TV and here about high profile people in court for abuse, what I know is that it doesn’t happen lightly. It takes a *lot* for a case like this to get to court.

2. We need a better jury system.

Before I went to court I met with the CPS barrister and the police officer who was leading my case. They talked to me about behaviour while I was on the stand.

They said that although the barrister was asking me questions, I should answer to the jury. I should make eye contact with the jury and speak to them. They said there are usually a couple of jurors that will engage with you.

I wasn’t worried about this. I am used to talking to audiences and picking someone out to connect with.

My trial took place the same week as a major drugs trial. There were armed police all round court. It was quite dramatic. That trial got first dibs on the jurors as it was scheduled to last at least 8 weeks – way longer than usual.

My trial was delayed because my jurors were what was left after the drugs trial had its pick.

Of the 12 jurors, 10 were about student age. Over the few days, every single day at least one of them slept in and the start of the day was significantly delayed.

The jury was bored and indifferent through the trial. They had to listen to some pretty harrowing stuff but seemed totally indifferent to it. I managed to only make eye contact with 1 juror – a middle aged lady. The others were looking down and some were even yawning.

How are these people supposed to make a ruling in a case such as this? How are they supposed to separate evidence from subjective opinion? How are they supposed to know what abuse is?

In my opinion, a jury should have a court official that helps them with interpretation of evidence and statements during their discussion point. Or we need a more American system where a jury is selected. It is supposed to be a cross section of your peers. My juror was far from that.

It is because of this particular make up of the jury that he was found Not Guilty. Everyone was certain. Even the judge suggested he was guilty in the summing up. The police officer could barely bring herself to tell me the result. No one could believe it. But it was the jury’s choice.

3. I was believed.

In the early days, after I reported it, I was amazed that the police interviewed me. I always questioned the truth of my story, even though I lived with the memories and their impact every day. When they submitted to the CPS for approval to take it to court, I was sure it wouldn’t be accepted.

I was ready to not be believed. Again.

When it got to court I was stunned, and thrilled. They believed what I said. For the first time I had spoken out and been believed.

By the time I got to court I no longer needed any validation of my story. I knew how much I’d had to go through to get that far. I realised court was just a technicality. Everyone was just doing their job.

In the end, the defence barrister was pretty clever. He used a minor molestation situation with my grandfather (something that has caused me no problems in later life). He asked the jury to believe that it was actually my grandfather that had done all those horrible things, not my abuser. The jury didn’t have to say it didn’t happen (my evidence would have made that impossible) they just had to say it wasn’t him.

And the only person who could have proved that to be incorrect, my mother, chose not to show up in court for me.

I came out of the trial knowing I was believed for the first time in my life. And for the first time in my life I felt sorry for what the younger version of me had been through.

4. Your story does not have to haunt you forever.

I have carried my story in my head for many years. It plays over and over again. It was almost like it need to be told. It pushed against the edges of my mind. It became more graphic and detailed as I learnt more. It gained depth and meaning.

When I told it in court, in all it’s horrific detail, it let the story out.

Other stuff from my childhood, stuff described by prosecution and defence as horrific, added to the depth of the story.

But after the trial, the story no longer served a purpose. It had been told.

And because of the Not Guilty verdict, I could fully let it go.

If it had been Guilty, I would have used my story to help others. I would have lived it again and again each time I told it.

But now it’s on a shelf and not in my head. I don’t need to add anything to it or ever need to read it again.

It is possible to be free of your story, no matter what happened.

5. I have the best friends.

When I went to Wales to record the video, my friend came with me, just to keep me company. She was brilliant. She asked nothing of me. She just was there for me. She wandered round for hours while I was in with the police.

She came with me again when I visited court a week before to see how things would work. Due to the nature of the case, I had special measures. I had a screen so he couldn’t see me and I couldn’t see him. I was kept in a special private room in between appearances so there was no chance of bumping into him.

Another friend, who has 3 kids, came down with me for the week of the trial. She stayed with me while I sat in a private room and watched the video of my testimony. She sat through the rest of the trial and told me what he said and what happened.

Another friend, who I only know online, attended his initial plea court appearance and then sat through the whole trial, giving me feedback on what was said. She even attended the day of the verdict when I had to head back home, because the trial had overrun and gave me the verdict before the police.

Another who lives all the way down the south of England, and I haven’t seen for many years, offered to leave her daughter with her granny and come with me to court.

If wealth is measured in friendship and the people around you, I am by far the richest person alive.

From my hubby, to my real life friends, to my virtual friends, everyone was phenomenally supportive. I often found myself in tears from the depth of support and love I felt

And so…

It was, by a million miles, one of the hardest things I have done in my life. I wanted to be the voice for others he’d abused, because I could be. I wanted to save others from his abuse in the future. Because the verdict was Not Guilty, it meant that I achieved nothing I set out to achieve.

I should have been permanently damaged by the experience.

But the opposite was true.

I was freed up by the experience.

I stood up for myself and others.

I was believed.

I was loved.

I am free of my story.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing

Image result for all be alright in the end quote
In September I start a Masters in Psychological Research Methodologies at the University of Dundee (which was Scottish University of the Year last year)

This is a critical step for me, on the way to a Phd and some solid research in the area of Neuroscience and Epigenetics.

But it hasn’t been all excitement and skipping through fields.

I was due to start in September last year. But I failed to get any funding.

I didn’t qualify for the new UK Government postgraduate loan because that was England and Wales only.

I didn’t qualify for any Scottish loans because I’m not Scottish and I didn’t got to school in Scotland.

My course was not on the list of courses funded by SAAS.

So, with my husband’s eyesight  failing and limiting his ability to drive, no chance of any sort of loan or grant, the prospect of a reduced income for the year and a need to find £4500 to pay for the course, I reluctantly gave up on the idea.

But not fully.

I was gutted. My plan for the future is to become a leading expert in the field of Neuroscience at a very practical level. I want to use the caveman rules of survival combined with an understanding of how the brain works to change the attitude we have to mental health worldwide (I know, bit of a tall order, but I’m game!)

It felt like my whole future was over. There was no purpose. There was nothing to work towards. I felt very sorry for myself for a good few weeks.

I deferred in the hope something would change.

And guess what? It did.

At the start of this year SAAS (Scottish student loans agency) announced that they would be now funding all postgraduate course.

I have just had it confirmed that I will get the Tuition fees paid plus a cost of living loan from SAAS.

Can you imagine how cross I would have been if I’d stretched myself to do the course last year, only to have it funded this year?

So the moral of the story is, when you look back on stuff, you can often see it was for the best. But at the time you are  in the thick of something,  it’s almost impossible to think that way. So try this next time everything feels hopeless:

“What have I already overcome that has given me  the skills and experience to know I can overcome this?”

or

“What  skills and experience will I gain from overcoming this, that will help me with other stuff in my future?”

A plea to mothers of daughters

As a child grows up, their shape constantly changes. Especially girls. Sometimes they grow out and sometimes they grow up. You really have no idea what their final shape and size will be until the they have finished developing from 18 onwards.

Have you noticed how your child can sometimes be taller than their friends and sometimes shorter?

This is a natural process, and should not be interrupted or overridden.

We all have a natural mind/body connection. The problem is, as adults we learn to override this. We rarely listen to our body. Children listen to their bodies.

  • You can’t make a child eat when they are not hungry.
  • A child will not eat until they are feel sick unless they have been deprived of something.
  • 3 meals a day is a structure imposed by adults. If a child is out playing they won’t come home at set times unless you make them, but they will tell you when they are hungry.
  • Finishing what’s on your plate is a structure imposed by an adult based on a perception of waste rather than what your stomach is telling you.

As adults we override our own natural programming a lot, but we also often inadvertently teach our kids to do the same.

When was the last time you praised your child for listening to their body?

A plea to mothers of daughters

Have you ever looked back at photos of yourself when you were younger and wished you looked now like you looked then? At the time did you feel fat? Your perceptions of how you look are not reality – they are circumstantial based on your perceptions and life events. These can change. But you can’t time travel, so even if you feel differently about yourself, you can’t go back and change your memories or your daughter’s memories. With that in mind I would plead for you to pay attention to the following points:

  1. Your daughter’s shape will constantly change, and often be off balance. Explain this and encourage her to be curious about what will change next. Show pictures of different shapes if necessary to explain how everyone is different.
  2. Your daughter does not see you in the same way you see yourself. She loves you unconditionally however you look. So, never criticise your looks in front of her. You are teaching her to be unhappy with her own looks.
  3. Be in photos of with your daughter. The photos are about her memories and not about how you feel about yourself. I say again, she doesn’t care how you look. You can never go back in time and recapture those moments.
  4. Praise her for listening to her mind/body connection. e.g.  “I love the way you can stop when you’ve had enough”. I find it helpful to distinguish between growing food and treat food. Treat food is nice but doesn’t help you grow. You have to have enough growing food to get treat food. So if your daughter (or son) is asking for pudding with food left on their plate, ask them if they have had enough growing food? Sugar inhibits the full signal. Explain that. If they are hungry, explain that there is no point eating something sweet as that is rubbish for hunger.
  5. Don’t impose your diet on your daughter. You are teaching her to override her mind/body connection. A significant proportion of my weight loss clients have a mother that was always on a diet. Sometimes the mother takes them to their diet club – either for company – or to get them to lose weight. This teaching them that there is something wrong with the way they look, and that is the opposite of what their mothers want for them. Most mothers just don’t want their daughter to feel as bad as they did growing up. But ironically, the very thing they are trying to protect them from, they cause.

Your daughter loves you no matter how you look, and you love her no matter how she looks. Maybe you can learn to love you, no matter how you look?

If you need to free yourself up from worrying about the way you look, why not try my online weight loss coaching programming. It is packed with useful information about the mind/body connections, paced task and special MP3 downloads to hold your hand on your journey to being happy with how you look.

Click the link to sign up and start your free trial today.

Did I make it up?

“I’m not sure if I remembered this or if it’s something I was told”

It’s something my clients often say.  And actually it doesn’t matter.

We are all filtering and changing our memories all the time and we don’t even realise it.

Have you ever paid someone a compliment only to have them dismiss it? Have you ever dismissed a compliment someone gave to you because it didn’t match what you believed?

People struggle with memories. They need to categorise them as “true” or “made up”. All memories are true and all are made up.

I hate mushrooms. My husband loves them. There is no true taste to a mushroom. It is subjective. It is neither true nor false that mushrooms taste good.

When we are struggling, we only allow things into our reality that fit our perceptions. Like those toys you had when you were a kid. If someone has an opinion that doesn’t fit your reality, you don’t let it in – like trying to fit the triangle shape into the circle hole. No amount of shoving will make it fit.

It’s the same when you are trying to change the way someone sees something, based on the way you see it. It won’t work.

You can’t change what is in someone else’s head, only they can do that

 

Do Something

It’s been a challenging few years for me physically.

In May 2015 I took my abuser to court. Over the 2 years it took it to get to trial, I piled weight on. It was pure protection and I knew it. After the trial, it was about recovering mentally. Other things were a higher priority. I focused on my clients and my business. I did talks and workshops, and my own health and wellbeing took a back seat.

I was in a new chapter of my life and nothing that had gone before mattered.

I assumed my weight would naturally return to something more normal. But it didn’t. It continued to climb. Despite the fact that I was eating the same way as I had when I was down to a size 12, my weight climbed. Initially I was indifferent. However, increasingly I faced the frustration of helping my weight loss clients become permanently free from worrying about their size and what they ate. Success after success made me feel more of a failure. I knew my weight was a ‘thing’ but I didn’t know why. Why was it not ok to lose weight? It should be by now. I even went to the doctors and had blood tests to make sure there was no medical reason in the way. There wasn’t. The doctor was impressed with me and told me that when I lost weight she would send loads of patients my way. I felt even more helpless – I couldn’t lose weight!

Then in February I hit my lowest point in over 6 years.

My husband had an operation on his eyes that meant he could no longer drive. Business was very quiet. I’d had to defer my Masters due to financial issues. I was the biggest I’d ever been. Everything seemed hopeless.

Most days it was a struggle not to burst into tears.

I’ve been there before. In fact, I have lived most of my life in that place. A place where getting through each day is an achievement in itself. A place where you hate everything about yourself. A place where you feel helpless and see everyone else as successful.

I have a simple strategy. I do something.

It doesn’t matter what it is. In the darkest days I make sure I get something done. It might be the washing. It might be an email. It might even be to record an audio version of my book. It doesn’t matter what the something is. When I feel everything is pointless, I focus on this moment, this minute, and I do something.

Then I look back on my day and give myself credit for what I did.

I spoke with a few friends and colleagues, and I began to understand what the ‘thing’ underneath it all was. It is quite a big thing. It’s a thing that goes back to when I was 12. It’s a thing that was the reason I had to leave my senior job in BT. It was a thing behind all the feedback I ever received from managers throughout my career. It’s a thing about having a voice, speaking out, being listened to.

So now I know what it is, I need to clear it. That’s a bit more of a challenge. It’s very hard to change yourself. So I need to go and see Trevor and that takes quite a bit of money. So one day.

Meanwhile, knowing what’s behind this, and that one day it will be cleared (like so much other stuff has been cleared before) allows me to begin to move forward again.

I have a simple strategy. I do something.

I decided to take advantage of the lull in business to get myself back on track.

On the 4th March I started planking every night before bed. At first I could only manage 6 seconds. By the 23rd March, I had made it to 60 seconds.

I got up and dressed in my running gear every morning that I didn’t have a client. I do a 2km run every morning during the week.

Every Wednesday I play squash in my Aberdeen office

Every Sunday I swim 10-20 lengths of the pool when I take my daughter swimming.

I do 2-3 Fast days a week (5:2)

I am nowhere near where I want to be. Then again, I don’t have a goal for where I want to be. I just don’t want to be here, in this out of control place.

So my advice to you is to scrap the big goals. Stop comparing yourself with everyone else. They are not you. And just do something. Every day. Do something

 

I can’t because

I can’t because…

Sometimes our labels keep us safe and take the pressure off

I can’t go to networking meetings…because I am not good at selling myself

I can’t lose weight…because I don’t have great willpower

I can’t go to work…because I don’t have the energy

I can’t take on that additional responsibility…because I don’t believe I’m good enough

I can’t leave the house today…because I don’t believe anyone cares

I can’t because…

Sometimes our labels limit us from doing what we really want to do

I can’t win that new business…because I am not good at selling myself

I can’t wear that to my daughter’s wedding…because I don’t have great willpower

I can’t play with my kids in the park…because I don’t have the energy

I can’t progress in my career…because I don’t believe I’m good enough

I can’t accept that invitation to go for drinks with my friends…because I don’t believe anyone cares

For every person that is limited by their issues, there is someone else that isn’t limited by the same set of issues

This is not about what is right our wrong, this is simply about awareness. Is your condition/label keeping you safe, or is it stopping you living your life? Try the following questions by answering with the very first thing that pops into your head:

  1. What do I gain from having this label/condition?
  2. What do I lose from having this label/condition?
  3. What do I gain from losing this label/condition?
  4. What do I lose from losing this label/condition?

It’s not a conscious thing. It’s just your subconscious trying to protect you. But it doesn’t have to be that way. I can help.

Email dawn@thinkitchangeit.com to begin the journey to overcome your limiting beliefs and become whoever you want to be.

Case Study: Debra

  1. How did you hear about Dawn?  Her Think it Change it Facebook page
  2. Did you get in touch straight away or did you need some time to think about it? If so, how long? I joined The Cave on Facebook, and I really liked what I saw . It felt comfortable and safe, so I dove right in.
  3. Had you been to see any other sort of therapist before seeing Dawn? I have seen various therapists over many years, but didn’t really get much usable or practical advice. Previous therapists didn’t feel specific, or goal oriented, whereas working with Dawn feels more promising. It’s much more clear and specific, and from our first chat, I felt positive and hopeful.
  4. Was your session in person or over Skype/Facetime? On Skype, but I wish it could be face to face. However, in all honesty, I think Skype is less distracting for me.
  5. What were your biggest worries about going to see Dawn? Were any of them founded? No worries at all. Having seen Dawn’s style and interpersonal skills on Facebook, I had full confidence, and knew I was making a great choice.
  6. Will you share what made you go and see Dawn? I have struggled with so many issues over my 60+ years, and saw in Dawn a person I could trust, who would be able to help me jump right in, get to the bottom of it all, and work on my ‘stuff’.
  7. How did you feel after your first session? Relieve that someone could not only see my ‘stuff’ but help me see it, and find answers/solutions to what is hurting me and how I have been holding myself back. I have, all these years, blamed others, as well as myself, not really giving much thought to my subconscious, self-protection mode, and I am now learning ways to overcome so much.
  8. How many sessions did you have? 4 I think, so far anyway.
  9. What surprised you most? Finding someone who ‘gets’ me has been a blessing. Thank you Dawn for being available.
  10. What was hardest? Facing myself has been really tough. But probably even harder, is summoning up the willingness to let go of all of the garbage I’m carrying around. I think I have been holding on to to it all for these many years because it feels ‘safe’ even thought it’s hurting me, and I hate it. It’s been comfortable, albeit in a self-destructive way, really. At the same time, I want to place the blame on others, and then I blame myself, alternatively, and that has gotten me nowhere. I like the change that is happening now. I feel hopeful.
  11. If you were able to travel in time and visit the you before you saw Dawn, what would you tell her that would help? It’a not your (conscious) fault. Your subconscious has been trying to protect you, but it’s done so in your child brain way. Let’s move forward and work on it. No time like the present!

Why you shouldn’t forgive them

 

This post was originally shared on Wake Up World

 

The dictionary definition of the word ‘forgive’ is: [verb] stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake.

Stop feeling. Interesting.

A feeling is an energy and energy can’t be stopped, it can merely be transformed.

For many years I believed I needed to forgive my abuser to move on. I felt bad because I couldn’t forgive him. I felt worse because I didn’t want to forgive him. I felt bad because everything I read said I should forgive him to free myself up.

Was I dooming myself to a life of pain because I had no idea how to forgive?

If you try and contain an energy it causes damage. It builds up to something bigger and bigger, pushing at the edges of its container. If it remains inside of you it becomes toxic and damaging. Keeping the pain inside is not a good idea. And yet, stopping the pain is really tricky.

What if you didn’t need to forgive?

Forgiving is an act. You have to actively forgive. This gives the person you want to forgive power over you for as long as you hold onto the hurt they triggered.

And yet feelings are not outside of you. They are an internal thing.

There is no need to analyse the feelings, find meaning, reclassify, or see the other person as evil or bad. You don’t need to forgive yourself for the role you played. You don’t need to stop feeling guilt, shame, responsibility.

The other person doesn’t dictate how you feel. Only you can do that.

Letting Go

What if that anger, fear, guilt, hurt etc. could be redirected instead of stopped?

The principle of most martial arts involves redirecting energy. They don’t directly block an attack, but rather redirect the flow of an attack, using the other person’s strength against them.

As a practising Cognitive Therapist, my suggestion is to do the same with emotional hurt. Instead of attempting to stop or contain it, you redirect the flow of the energy.

The easiest way to connect with your subconscious, which is where the emotions sit, and let go of the pain is through visualisation. You could try this approach:

  1. Firstly name the emotion. Pain, hurt, anger, Bob – whatever works for you.
  2. If that emotion had a colour, what would it be?
  3. If that colour was in a shape or an object, what would it be?
  4. Would it be moving or still? Is it 3D or 2D? Anything else you notice about it? Where is it?
  5. Now you have defined it as a thing, imagine transforming it. It could shrink or explode. It could flow out of your body. It could spin away. Zoom in or zoom out on it. It could get quieter if it has sound. You could even merge it into a nicer colour/feeling. It doesn’t matter how you see it working. Just change it, with the intent of allowing it to fully disappear at some point.

If, as you go through your day, triggers may cause the pain to be recreated so repeat the visualisation whenever you need to. Your goal should be to bring yourself back into the present moment as soon as possible. You can’t time travel so you can’t change what has already happened. You can’t predict the future, so you don’t know what will happen next. All you can do is be present

Moving forward, when faced with challenges in your life, ask yourself “What skills do I already have, from everything I have been through, that will allow me to overcome this obstacle?” or if you find that you don’t already have the skills you need “What skills will I gain from overcoming this obstacle that will help me with future obstacles?”

And if the triggers keep making the pain return, give me a shout and I’ll help.

3 signs you are a fussy eater

I used to think I’d eat pretty much anything. I was deprived of food as a child so I tried to make up for it as an adult. Then I started travelling, and I realised that not liking seafood or mushrooms actually made me quite selective over what I could eat.

Thing is, I could push a prawn or mushroom to one side, and carry no eating the rest of the meal. It was no big deal. So I’m not really a fussy eater, it’s just that the things I don’t like happen to be in lots of dishes!

There is a ‘thing’ these days called Selective Eating Disorder – it’s what we might have called Fussy Eating in the past. So you are a probably a fussy eater if

1.You spent hours sat at the kitchen table as a child

Did you parents make you sit at the table until you finished everything on your plate? Were you always left at the table when everyone else had finished and left? The first sign that your subconscious has a problem with eating is your behaviour as a kid. Often clients I see say they have been told they were always fussy as a kid. Often the parents would really worry and, as well as talking to doctors, would try anything to get a child to eat a balanced meal. Of course, it didn’t work. And it made everybody miserable. You probably wasted hours of your childhood sat at a table staring at the food in front of you.

2. You avoid going out for meals and to events where there is food

The problem with not eating a range of foods is that it can be really hard to find a restaurant that meets your limited requirements. And most people don’t want to let on to their friends that they are fussy over what they eat. Events can be a particular nightmare because it’s not so easy to avoid them. I have had clients that would not even go for a coffee with friends because they didn’t want to explain why they wouldn’t eat anything.

3. You eat the same food all the time because it’s safe

You have a very limited range of foods that you eat. You never try anything new because you are worried about what will happen if you don’t like it.

‘Fussy Eating’ is a very real problem. It is a problem in your subconscious. In my experience it comes from either a fear of being sick, or a fear of gagging choking. When you think about different foods, or try different foods it triggers an alert point in your subconscious

Warning! Risk of gagging or being sick if you continue

To protect you from this perceived threat, your subconscious takes over and tries to prevent you putting yourself at risk. Ironically, to do this, it usually makes you gag or feel sick – the very thing it’s protecting you from!

This is not a conscious thing. But it’s also not true. If we look back through your memories to when this alert was established, we will usually find a childhood event that your subconscious totally misinterpreted. When we correct that misinterpretation, that alert is no longer activated around food and you begin to eat a wider range.

In my experience with my clients, this takes effect almost immediately, with clients often leaving a therapy session and eating different food for the first time in their lives.

Because of this, working with fussy eaters/people with SED is probably one of my favourite things to do as the change is more immediately life changing than my work with anyone else.

If you feel this describes you, why not drop an email to dawn@thinkitchangeit.com and let me help you.

07734113830 dawn@thinkitchangeit.com