Dawn Walton, MSc.Psych,DipCHyp,MNLP,MBPsS

You know how when you're in a bad mood, everything just really gets on your wick and makes you feel worse?

You know how when you're in a good mood you bounce around and nothing can touch you?

Moods are like that. They find a way of fuelling themselves. 

I always have a problem in June, July and August because in 2007 I gave birth to a baby boy at 26 weeks old. He fought bravely but died after a month in NICU. This time of year my mood naturally dips and I find it hard to find the positives. 

And I often find that if I'm not careful I can spiral downwards; what happened with my boy quickly becoming about me and how miserable I am. I find validation for that feeling by searching my memories of my past and pretty soon I can find myself drowning in all those negative thoughts. 

So what can we do about it? 

Well when we are trying to 'break state' we need to take action - to do something different.

I go for a run. It gives me a little bit of space to think and enjoy what's around me as I run. It also fills me with endorphins afterwards (unfortunately they don't kick in at the time!) Endorphins are like a happy drug and they give me energy to get through the day and also adjust my mood chemically so I don't have to be so miserable.

Any exercise will do this for you - even housework or a gentle walk!

If you can't do exercise for whatever reason there are a number of other things you can do to break state. You can play your favourite, upbeat song, really loudly. 

You can try and do something for someone else, no matter how small, that improves their day because making others feel better makes us feel better too. 

You can even just smile. Smiling confuses your brain. It assumes because you are smiling you must be happy. This is why you hear about all this laughter therapy being so successful. Changing our physiology changes our mood. 

Once you have that positive frame of mind, you need to work to keep it. You won't need to work as hard as you did to get it in the first place - but you still need to take action. 

A good way of doing this is called 'Priming'. Priming is where you get your brain looking for stuff. You know how when you are buying a new car you suddenly notice the model you are interested a lot more often? Or when you are trying for a kid everyone seems to have babies or is pregnant? That is because your brain has become primed to notice certain things. 

You can take action on this one to get you into a positive frame of mind.

Every night, before you go to sleep, write down three things you are grateful for that day. Then each day, your brain is primed to look for the 3 things you will be writing down. This means you get used to looking for the positives in your day.